"every now and then, quite unintentionally,
someone taught you something about yourself"
i know everyone has at least one trait that other people couldn't stand at. either it's stubbornness, simply being bala, plin-plan, egois, self-centered, tukang bocor, dan masih banyak lagi. i do also have one. well it's not one actully, maybe a few. the first one is my habit of regretting what i've already said and done or regret my past actions over something even though i already make sure of myself that i wouldn't regret it when i made that actions. oh. and also sometimes i take my action without any long consideration or impulsively. ya, gue tau itu salah dan sering kali ending up pretty complicated for me. tapi ngga tau kenapa it's just happen.
dan sekarang gue mencoba untuk meminimalisir habit gue ini. gue mencoba untuk lebih terbuka dengan beberapa teman gue yang gue percayakan untuk mendengar cerita sampah gue (yang mungkin ada beberapa yang bosen ngedengerinnya karena itu cerita udah kayak diulang-ulang mulu kayak kaset rusak). gue mencoba meminta saran dan pendapat mereka. and well, it helps me. like it helps me to conquer my fear of losing someone, to overcome my possibility to regret something. tapi ya gitu. endingnya tetep aja ada rasa penyesalan di diri gue sendiri. but the good news is, i don't regret it too much. like, i just let it happen. "oh yaudah, nyesel sih tapi yaudah" that thoughts keep on going in my mind. at least i know time will heal everything.
hipotesis akhirnya adalah, jika gue mempunyai teman untuk dijadikan tempat bercerita, maka beban gue terhadap masalah tertentu at least berkurang even though it doesn't solve anything. ya look at the bright side tho. seenggaknya gue ngga lagi membiasakan diri menutup diri completely dan memendam semuanya :-)
pencapaian terbesar Salsabil.
an applause, perhaps?
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